Shssssh... someone is listening or watching you.

As I drive or walk along the streets I can help but noticed the ubiquitous cameras mounted on lamp posts, traffic lights and wherever there's a space for one to be installed. Should I feel safer that there are so many eyes watching my every move or should I shudder to think that nothing I do is private. Given the revelations in the news media about government agencies in the US and how they spy on their citizens every conversation and every move, I wonder why do we need to whisper anything that we don't want others to know when we are speaking to someone. After all it is a matter of time before Uncle Sam gets to know what was whispered. But one thought crossed my mischievous mind and that is what happens in the Catholic church confessional? What is someone put a listening bug in the box and gets to hear all the goings on which must make a good script for "TruTV" . 

We're getting older, on the other hand...

It's funny how we humans think... take for example how we fret when we feel that we are getting older. Yet we are so happy to look forward to our birthdays, to a New Year, to a Christmas and to the many appointments that we make in the following days, weeks and months. Many don't realise that if there is one thing that is certain from the time you are born into this world, it is the fact that the clock is ticking and you'll be getting older. For many getting older is associated with wisdom, growing up, adulthood, parenthood and even retirement. But what we don't look at is the fact that it also means you are that much nearer to expiry... or simply put, you are a step closer to the grave. I been to so many wakes and send-off ceremonies that I could easily play back the memories at these sorrowful events.

I have been planning trips to this and that place, planning to buy this and that thing some date in the future and when I paused to think, I thought how funny life is. I have gone this far and yet I am looking farther ahead assuming that everything else will remain the same. Not so, as our body will tell us. Suddenly that flight of stairs become a hill climb. Or that hop across the drain becomes a leap. Your legs just won't move or your joints aren't willing to hold on to your body.

Guess I won't be able to discuss this freely with my friends; many people understandably do not wish to look at the other side of life and they are just optimists by nature. I will be labelled as morbid if I talk about expiration of life. All Soul's Day is just slightly over a month away. The young ones will be gearing up for that Halloween party and the retailers will bare all their wares for those who need a new costume or one that is more frightening that the one worn last year. I laughed when I see them all dressed to look like ghouls and I thought indeed when their time comes, they may ask: Oh dear... how do I get out of this and wind back the clock?

 

The Spring Festival

After all the rush to clean up and stock up alas the Chinese New Year has come and you get all worn out after three days of celebrating, i.e. receiving relatives and visiting relatives, and feasting throughout. But it is important to remember that the festival is not about feasting and drinking; rather it is about catching up with relatives, finding out how they have fared through the past months and wishing each other all the blessings and well-wishes for the next 12 months. Indeed we ask ourselves why do we not keep in touch as often as we should, especially given that Singapore is only an island state and getting from one point to another at worse takes only an hour or so? It's all about the rat-race and the rat I feel is more energetic in urban Singapore than elsewhere. Another reason advanced by some is that familiarity breeds contempt and so it is better to keep a distance and enjoy the absence. The reality it seems among many families is that if they don't meet during the festive season, they may meet during weddings or funerals. While weddings may not occur as often, with a greying population, funerals seem to be the more frequent platform.

Sadly the erosion of cultural ties among some of us has seen many traditions eroded and everyone becomes so glued to their portable smart phones and their ipads that even when they are on that once a year visit, some just continued playing with their technological gadgets. I hope it won't come a time when visits are just done on Skype or Twitter. Perhaps and I hope I may be wrong.

Season to be jolly or ...

The year-end is known to be a time for parties and gatherings. However, this may not be the same for everyone. There are people out there in the community who may find themselves left out or who may not be comfortable with all the hustle and bustle. Some of us maybe party animals but not everyone is. So it didn't come as a surprise whens someone says to me: It's rather lonely you know during this time of the year. People are gathered at parties and etc but I'm not that type so I stay away.

I remember a colleague who was a bachelor and since passed on. He looked forward to coming to work because he said at least there would be people around him. When at home, he would be faced with the boredom of the four walls and his landlord. The sad thing was that he would turn to alcohol to be his companion and in the proverbial way "drown his sorrows". But for someone who is  a teetotaler what is the option? Today there is the Internet and world wide web... but going into chat rooms can be as bad as hitting the bottle. We know of many scams and pornography and etc where the unwary visitors get into greater depression in the aftermath of a session.

Loneliness is a state of the mind, so say the expert. You can talk yourself into a state of depression or you can get out of it, snap yourself into a different mode - a happy high note and move forward. I am incline to take this route and get myself out there with the maddening crowd; get to know people, start a network, join an interest group and before you know it you will find yourself into circulation.

If you wallow in self-pity; believe in the doomsday and keep to yourself then there is little that even the medical psychologist can do. I would say go wear some bright colours, pick up the phone, make a call to a friend for dinner, tea at Starbucks or even breakfast at McDonald's or supper at Marriott Hotel. Yes, you may get a nay answer today but there's always tomorrow and another day. Yes, you may not have many friends but you need a point where you can start off. It need not cost you an arm or a leg unless you choose to flount your wealth and you'll attract the wrong sort of friends.

We all live in a world where people will move on, some even to another world when they are older. So we have to accept that if we don't build up the network of friends or interact with other fellow humans, then we will have to accept that we will have to live a hermit's life.

A Year of Hits, Misses

As I write this post, I could see the dark clouds blanketing the sky and the swooshing of water on the road as the vehicle drive on the rainfall. Eleven months have passed and there's just another page on the calender before the year draws to a finish. Things haven't changed much since the same time last year. My office is just as it was though more files are fighting for a space on my table. But don't get me wrong... it doesn't translate to more business. In fact with  Europe now in double dip recession and the US struggling like a swimmer caught by ripping current off Australia's Bondi Beach.

Reflecting on the past months, I would say I learnt more about the meaning of friendship. I learnt that there are so-called friends who can change their sincerity like the way chameleon changes their colours. Beyond  the rhetoric and handshakes, there's a somewhat eerie emptiness. Fortunately there was no serious harm to anyone but indeed I am amused at the antics played out over the years. They reminded me also of another person I met, who would be all hyped up with high-five and all the Mona Lisa smiles, to hide a distorted picture of selfishness and self-centredness. I guess this is mankind and it happens everywhere. Another encounter was a personality that would stop at nothing to get a grasp at power... though I have no intention in competing for even a ounce of it given that I would rather focus on my own business. The lack of sincerity befuddles me as I watch the player unfold all the tapestry to grab the attention of the grand audience.

My thought turned to the lyrics of The Seekers song I'll Never Find  Another You.. and I thought of my pets who have gone to their resting place. With me still is my faithful and only pet Richie who is also growing older in years. But his respect for mankind never change. He's as obedient as he was 12 years ago. Not a day would pass where he'll not be there to welcome me as I get into the covered driveway. No wonder it is said: a dog is a man's best friend.

And talking about friends, true friends, yes soon it will be Christmas and a select group of friends will gather for food and merry-making. It's not that we need a special occasion to gather but we'll do it anyway. Tonight another group of friends would be gathering for dinner - a special group - as they're my classmates from the 60s. How we have grown and yet we never forget to relive those good old school-go days, laugh at one another when we talked about the silly things we do, and reminisce on the minor incidents which today become magnified as milestones in our days at school.



 

As I write this year-end post, I can't help but reflect on the events of yesteryears especially the infamous attack on Pearl Habour which resulted in the loss of 3000 lives of American servicemen. The aftermath of this attack was the Japanese invasion of a whole swathe of Asia and Southeast Asia where they inflicted unnecessary pain and destruction on the people. But  more than 70 years have passed but mankind don't seem to learn the lesson of war. There's violence in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Syria, and lesser street skirmishes across capitals in Europe and China. As 2011 comes slowly to a close, it is one year where we are better off leaving it behind than to have to cope with it. There was the mass destruction from natural disasters and from the damage to the Fukushima nuclear plant arising from a tsunami that was triggered by a massive earthquake, floods in Thailand. 2011 is a year of disaster, if I may say so. Even the media met with disaster with the phone-hacking scandal in Britain that saw the closure of the News of the World.

Some consolation is the baby steps taken by Myanmar military juanta to introduce limited freedom to its people, and the delicate thawing of relations among the people in Thailand who were divided due to political bickering. In Moscow, Putin's party was given a drubbing and won narrowly and a demonstration erupted in the streets of Moscow by anti-Putin protestors alleging vote rigging.

The event that dominated the headlines of major newspapers was the Euro zone economic turmoil, and not forgetting US debt crisis that almost saw the closure of the government in Washington. What more can we expect in these last two weeks to the New Year but to pray that all will turn out well and enough is enough of all the fighting and the disaster.

Some things just don't go away

It's funny how some things just linger on your mind though weeks, months and years may have passed. And, I am talking about the departure of my pet dogs - Fred, Goofy, Snowy and Rabbit. Somehow time and time again images of them appear before you mind, and fondly everyone at home would talk about what they would do, or how they would have reacted and so on and so forth. Perhaps it's because they left a legacy...a very lovable and adorable son Richie who now carries on providing our home with the fond memories.

Indeed, I mention pets but also the passing of our loved ones, grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles and even friends too leave fond memories. I then asked myself how will I be remembered after my life. Maybe some may remember me for my humour, some for my community work and others for the weeks they spent attending my classes. But looking back as I posed myself this question, I realised that perhaps I may not have done enough in my lifetime to be remembered?

Though who knew me when I was young may recall my days of playing the guitar and house parties. In adulthood others may recall my years as a journalist, covering events in and around Singapore and the region. Others who met me in my latter life may know me as their lecturer if they attended my classes. And, yet others with whom I spent hours at the community work may know the the other side of me. My family will of course remember me in another context, someone fussy, demanding, always making sure that things are all in order. But I think many may say: "Oh, he's a good story teller and we always like to hear him".

See, it is interesting to sit back and reflect on what you've done and how will you be remembered. Well, until that day comes...there'll still be some more stories to tell.