We're getting older, on the other hand...

It's funny how we humans think... take for example how we fret when we feel that we are getting older. Yet we are so happy to look forward to our birthdays, to a New Year, to a Christmas and to the many appointments that we make in the following days, weeks and months. Many don't realise that if there is one thing that is certain from the time you are born into this world, it is the fact that the clock is ticking and you'll be getting older. For many getting older is associated with wisdom, growing up, adulthood, parenthood and even retirement. But what we don't look at is the fact that it also means you are that much nearer to expiry... or simply put, you are a step closer to the grave. I been to so many wakes and send-off ceremonies that I could easily play back the memories at these sorrowful events.

I have been planning trips to this and that place, planning to buy this and that thing some date in the future and when I paused to think, I thought how funny life is. I have gone this far and yet I am looking farther ahead assuming that everything else will remain the same. Not so, as our body will tell us. Suddenly that flight of stairs become a hill climb. Or that hop across the drain becomes a leap. Your legs just won't move or your joints aren't willing to hold on to your body.

Guess I won't be able to discuss this freely with my friends; many people understandably do not wish to look at the other side of life and they are just optimists by nature. I will be labelled as morbid if I talk about expiration of life. All Soul's Day is just slightly over a month away. The young ones will be gearing up for that Halloween party and the retailers will bare all their wares for those who need a new costume or one that is more frightening that the one worn last year. I laughed when I see them all dressed to look like ghouls and I thought indeed when their time comes, they may ask: Oh dear... how do I get out of this and wind back the clock?

 

Season to be jolly or ...

The year-end is known to be a time for parties and gatherings. However, this may not be the same for everyone. There are people out there in the community who may find themselves left out or who may not be comfortable with all the hustle and bustle. Some of us maybe party animals but not everyone is. So it didn't come as a surprise whens someone says to me: It's rather lonely you know during this time of the year. People are gathered at parties and etc but I'm not that type so I stay away.

I remember a colleague who was a bachelor and since passed on. He looked forward to coming to work because he said at least there would be people around him. When at home, he would be faced with the boredom of the four walls and his landlord. The sad thing was that he would turn to alcohol to be his companion and in the proverbial way "drown his sorrows". But for someone who is  a teetotaler what is the option? Today there is the Internet and world wide web... but going into chat rooms can be as bad as hitting the bottle. We know of many scams and pornography and etc where the unwary visitors get into greater depression in the aftermath of a session.

Loneliness is a state of the mind, so say the expert. You can talk yourself into a state of depression or you can get out of it, snap yourself into a different mode - a happy high note and move forward. I am incline to take this route and get myself out there with the maddening crowd; get to know people, start a network, join an interest group and before you know it you will find yourself into circulation.

If you wallow in self-pity; believe in the doomsday and keep to yourself then there is little that even the medical psychologist can do. I would say go wear some bright colours, pick up the phone, make a call to a friend for dinner, tea at Starbucks or even breakfast at McDonald's or supper at Marriott Hotel. Yes, you may get a nay answer today but there's always tomorrow and another day. Yes, you may not have many friends but you need a point where you can start off. It need not cost you an arm or a leg unless you choose to flount your wealth and you'll attract the wrong sort of friends.

We all live in a world where people will move on, some even to another world when they are older. So we have to accept that if we don't build up the network of friends or interact with other fellow humans, then we will have to accept that we will have to live a hermit's life.